Clear Lake High School graduate Theresa Gille shares her personal journal kept over seven months while stationed in Iraq
Publisher’s Note: The war in Iraq is constantly in the headlines. So much so, that
we have become somewhat insulated to the information we see and read on a daily basis.
Apathetic? Hardly.
Ask anyone their opinion on the war and you’re sure to get an answer. If that person has someone directly involved in the conflict, you’re more than likely to get a strong opinion.
The duration of the war has made it almost impossible to not be touched personally. That is what this story is about-- a personal account of a war experience that happened half a world away to a young girl raised in Clear Lake, who grew into a young woman who played softball in the summer for the Lions and graduated from Clear Lake High School in 1990.
Theresa Gille, daughter of Larry and Mary Lou Gille, went on to attend the University of Iowa to study pharmacy with the goal of becoming a medical doctor. She accepted a Navy scholarship to attend medical school and did a surgical internship at Naval Medical Center Portsmouth (NMCP) in Portsmouth, Va. She is currently serving a two-year general medical officer tour with the Marines at Camp Lejeune. She will be starting an Ear, Nose and Throat residency in August back at NMCP. Theresa’s husband, Randy Schepler, served in the Marines from 1986-90. She calls him a “major factor” in her decision to serve with the Marines rather than try to get a position on a ship.
In August 2007, Theresa was deployed to Iraq for seven months. During her service, she kept a journal which she shares with Mirror-Reporter readers.
by Marianne Morf
“Sometimes I really don’t want to remember this and sometimes I never want to forget,” wrote Theresa Gille on Sept. 11, 2007, just days after arriving in Iraq.
Although she signed her contract two weeks before the tragedy of Sept. 11, 2001, Gille said she knew she would be deployed, whether on a ship or with the Marines. “After 9/11, and especially after the Spring of 2003, I knew I would be deploying. No one wants to deploy and be away from their family, but it’s just a part of life when you’re in the military. I’ll have a four-year respite from deploying while I’m in residency, but after that, I’m fair game again.”
19 August 2007
The last few weeks have been hard. Extremely busy, which is probably good, because I didn’t have much time to dwell on the deployment. Today’s been the hardest day in that I’ve been counting down the hours since I woke up. I’m savoring these last few hours in civilian clothes and my hair down. We took the dogs to the beach this morning. It always feels so good to watch them run and play in the water.
Today was the first time I cried. I’ve held it together pretty well until Mert, Molly and Amanda called to say goodbye. They were all crying. For some reason, that put me over the edge. I’m trying not to count down everything I do, thinking “this is the last time I’ll do this for the next seven months.” That’s way too depressing. I can’t imagine what people with terminal illnesses go through. What gets me through is knowing that this will be the worst day because every day after this is another day closer to coming home.
21 August 2007
We’re here at Camp Virginia in Kuwait. The last 48 hours is mostly a blur. We took off from Cherry Point at about 1030 on Monday morning and flew to Shannon, Ireland. We had a four hour layover before beginning the second leg of our journey which brought us to Kuwait. I’m so confused as to what day it is. I slept the majority of both flights. We don’t know for sure how long we’ll wait here. At earliest we may leave tomorrow night. Everyone is dreading this last flight. We all get packed into the back of a C-130 or something similar and get carted like cargo to TQ (Camp Al Taggadum). Going into and out of TQ is all tactical flying so the ride will not be pleasant.
I haven’t had a chance to call home yet. Many people called from Ireland but I didn’t have the heart to tell Randy I was sitting in Ireland having a Guiness without him. I’m looking forward to getting settled in so I can call home.
It is hot here and so desolate. Many people say that there is so much beauty in the desert but have yet to see it.
22 August 2007
Still at Camp Virginia. Spoke with Randy early this morning, then Mom and Dad later. The connection was so good, I could almost forget that I’m half way around the world. The chow hall is pretty decent and there’s an exchange, a work-out facility and a rec center with pool tables, ping-pong, Play Station etc. We ran into the CO and Sgt Major who were playing PS2 golf. However many amenities they have here we’re all very eager to get to TQ and start work.
Everyone is still in pretty good spirits. Tomorrow is our movement to TQ. It sounds like it will not be pleasant. We wear flak and Kevlar and the AC doesn’t always work which means temps in excess of 120 degrees. But by this time tomorrow night we should be settled into TQ.
23 August 2007
We made it to TQ today. The trip wasn’t nearly as bad as what we thought it would be. We rode in a C-17 which is more spacious than a C-130 and there wasn’t nearly as much tactical flying as what we thought. TQ seems much nicer than Kuwait. There’s more vegetation, and it doesn’t seem as hot. I had to give up six of my best corpsmen for the MP teams. I worry about them getting over-worked going out on so many convoys and security sweeps. They’ll billet with and train with the MPs so I won’t get as much of a chance to keep an eye on them like I would like to.
24 August 2007
Our first full day in TQ consisted of going to the range for fam fire first thing this morning. We were done firing rather quickly but it took a couple of hours to lock on transportation back to the main base. We were waiting in flak and Kevlar so it was pretty miserable. Tomorrow we start the transition. The BAS (Battalion Aide Station) seems a little on the rough side.
27 August 2007
Turnover is complete...I’ll take over tomorrow. Continued drama with placement of the corpsmen. We gave our best corpsmen to the MP’s and TS Co but Sgt Major wants us to rotate so that all of the corpsmen get outside-the-wire experience. Spoke with Randy today, he sounded good. It helps so much when I hear his voice and he sounds upbeat. It seems like I’ve been gone a long time, but it’s only been a week. One down, 27 to go.
28 August 2007
One more day done. The days seem to go pretty quickly even though overall time seems to be creeping by. I’m looking forward to moving into my own hooch (room) and getting into a routine. Chief and I are going to start running on Monday. I’m sure that I feel a lot better once I start working out again. Right now it’s just so damn hot that it’s hard to consider moving around much outside. The highs this week are 115-118 with lows in the high 80s. I never thought that I would find 88 degrees comfortable, but in the morning after the heat has dissipated from the sand and before the sun comes up it’s quite comfortable. It’s difficult to believe that the temps this summer were in the 130’s and 140’s. I’m looking forward to the temps dropping to the 40-50 range.
1 September 2007
H&S Co of Maint BN left today. Trevor and his crew should be boarding the C-17 about now. We went over to surgical to pick him up...while we were waiting to find out where he went I ran into a surgeon that I know from Portsmouth who is nearing the end of his deployment. I expected him to be happy to be returning to his family but he was more sad than anything. He talked about making such good friends out here and all the responsibilities that he had to return to. He said that he turned 40 while he was here. I felt so down and confused after seeing him. I expected that there would be happiness and excitement from the ones going home, but everyone seems so subdued. I understand that we create friendships out here that are different from back home, a kind of bond that is only formed when you’re away from your family and subjected to this environment. For the medical staff at surgical it’s even more special because they are subjected to a harsher, more gruesome Iraq than what we are at the BAS. They have higher highs and lower lows, memories of those they saved and those they could not. Having done a surgery internship I understand it to a lesser extent. Even though you may not have a lot in common with your peers, you do have experiences that you share. We spent a year’s worth of sleepless nights, incoherent post call days and endless pimp sessions together and we had a bond which helped us survive that year. I’m sure that the staff at surgical formed that same bond, yet I can’t imagine not being excited to go home. Not being excited to see your family. Sure, I’ll be sad to say goodbye to my corpsmen but I can’t wait to get home and see Randy and the dogs.
3 September 2007
Randy’s birthday today. Didn’t get a chance to call, didn’t really have any energy left to call. I feel bad about not trying to call, but I don’t want Randy hearing me down and I’m not good at hiding how I feel. Hopefully the rest of the week will go smoother.
4 September 2007
Moved into my permanent hooch today. It’s extremely dusty, it will take awhile to get it cleaned up. The bed appears to be more comfortable, it’s at least clean and I think the mattress is new. We call the area Little Tiajuana because it looks like little Mexican huts. I’m much closer to the BAS now, about 2 minutes.
6 September 2007
Had our first sandstorm today. Wasn’t a cloud of dust like they show in the movies although I guess they occur like that too some times. It was just very windy and a lot of sand blew around. Of course there’s sand and dirt everywhere. Somehow it finds its way inside even where there appear to be no openings.
Worked my way through how to do a medevac. I actually talked to the patient evacuation team and got the low down on how it’s supposed to work. It really shouldn’t have taken this long. I blame it on the turnover but I think that protocols change from day to day out here.
11 September 2007
10 percent of the way done according to the donut of misery. Had to take a break from the journal for a few days. #1 I’m pretty tired when I get back to my hooch and #2 it was getting to be a chore. Sometimes I really don’t want to remember this and sometimes I never want to forget.
Finally broke down last night. Got over tired and too sappy for my own good. Wrote Randy a sappy email. I guess it had to happen sooner or later. With the donut of misery going so damn slow, I got a little depressed. Anyway, so I started working out today. Ran (tried to run) a few miles on the treadmill and did a little bit of weight training. I have to be able to pass the PFT as soon as November. At this point I can’t even run three miles and I’m not sure if I can do the bent arm hang either. Got a lot of work to do…
17 September 2007
Received a very large shipment from Wisconsin. There was beef jerky for the Corpsmen on the road, Chex Mix, trail mix, oreos and coffee beans with a grinder. Wow, that coffee smells so good! It doesn’t matter how big the box is, it means so much to us when people send stuff.
18 September 2007
One of our Corpsmen had his first death today. He was with the MPs waiting behind an Army convoy that had stopped. The Army convoy was requesting a wrecker and waiting for it to arrive. The Corpsman saw that there was a vehicle over-turned so he went to see if he could help. When he got there he saw that there was a third country national trapped beneath the cab of the truck. He had been there for 15 minutes.
25 September 2007
It’s been a week since I’ve been able to force myself to regurgitate the day’s events. A few significant things have transpired. Most notable is the loss of my IDC (Independent Duty Corpsmen) today. He rolled his ankle severely and broke his fibula in the process. He’ll be medevaced out tomorrow for surgery then he’ll probably have to go home to recuperate... Enough ranting. The nights are beautiful here. It cools down significantly and the stars are so bright. It reminds me of back home in Iowa.
30 September 2007
I got clearance today from my command to go outside the wire and participate in a program called Iraqi Womens Engagement (IWE). It’s basically a huge sick call for Iraqi women. It brings them in so that the Iraqi and Coalition forces can interact with the women to get information and to see how we can better serve the Iraqi population. HM3 Potapenko, my one female Corpsmen, has participated in two already. She thought that it was a great experience and is eager to go back. HM1 and I have a healthy fear of going outside the wire. We really want the experience but also promised our loved ones that we wouldn’t take any unnecessary risks. HM3 says that she felt extremely safe the whole time and was treated very well by the Iraqis. I’ll go through the training and see how it goes, I may not even have a chance to do it.
18 October 2007
I went to Al Qartan today for the IWE. It was a great experience and although kind of scary, it felt good to get off the base. We had a MiTT (transition) team pick us up to take us to the IWE site. They are a team that is embedded with the Iraqi Army (IA), teaching them how to be an army. The IA itself organized the CME (Collaborative Medical Engagement) and provided the overall security. They did a great job and we felt as safe as we could outside of TQ. We got to see the Iraqi countryside and we crossed the Euphrates River. We saw 84 patients. We saw mostly children with maybe 10 percent of the patients being older women. Very few young or middle-aged women. Most of the children had cold-type symptoms or weren’t really sick, they were there for the toys and stuffed animals. There were a few that did seem really sick though. I feel bad because we can’t always do much for them. We can treat a yeast infection, cough, headache but when it comes to the chronic stuff like diabetes there’s not much we can do. But overall it was a great experience and I’m definitely willing to go out again if they’ll have me. I couldn’t find the handle on the door of the Humvee to get back in on our way home so they may think that I’m a little too high maintenance. The same MiTT team 1-3-1 is going out again in November, so hopefully I can make it back out with them.
20 Nov 2007
I figured enough has happened that it is time to write again. I turned 36, went out with another IWE and completed my FMF Board in the last 36 hours. Busy, but rewarding. I’ve medevaced another four Marines with a total of seven so far that had to go home. We’re not even half done and we’ve already surpassed Tac-1.
I finally finished my Fleet Marine Force Qualified Officer program. I had my final board tonight. So I just wait for the Commanding General to sign off on it then I’m going to have the CO pin it on me at the BAS.
22 Nov 2007
Today is Thanksgiving. It was a fairly busy day with Thanksgiving services and VIPs visiting. It’s nice that these VIPs visit, I think for the most part it’s a big moral boost, but it really disrupts schedules. The Commandant of the Marine Corps and the Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps visited today and they served us dinner for a while. Then I was one of the lucky few chosen/ordered to sit and have dinner with him. I would rather have been dining with my Corpsmen but it was good seeing the faces of the Marines as the Commandant dished up their turkey and mashed potatoes.
It was a good day and I think the Corpsmen enjoyed having Thanksgiving dinner together at the BAS. I feel sad for Randy though because he doesn’t have anyone to go home to and no one to eat dinner with. Here, we all have each other and we all have in common that we are away from home for the Holidays. Randy has the dogs. I’m just happy that he’s going home for Christmas. It might kill me if he was alone for that as well.
Closing in on the half way mark, soon it will be downhill…
Next week: Part II-Deployment takes its toll.